Currently listening to…
If you’re reading this, I’m fresh from a trip to Las Vegas, hunkering down for a hurricane that may or may not lead to the cancellation of my Barbie-themed 30th birthday party. I haven’t experienced the anxiety I’ve always believed was inevitable before this milestone birthday. That’s probably because I feel like I’ve been 30 since I was eight years old. Regardless, I still find myself clicking on the endless listicles that detail everything one should know or have before turning 30. (Remember when Taylor Swift did one?) There’s a lot I haven’t figured out yet, so I decided to do the inverse.
turning 20
one
Boundaries
It seems that I’m always in a prolonged, uncomfortable situation that could have been avoided with a hard conversation. I don’t know how to set clear boundaries. This work will be a major focus of mine in the upcoming year.
two
How to say no
I say yes to pretty much everything, even the things that run me ragged, give me stress dreams, and go against everything I know in my soul to be right.
three
How to shape my eyebrows
I had bangs in my early twenties and therefore missed the window to learn how to do this properly.
turning 21
four
How to regulate my anxiety without drugs and/or alcohol
Marijuana and whiskey, to be specific.
five
Meditation
I just know meditation would help with the above, but I have yet to master it.
six
Birth control
I recently wrote about backing out of an IUD appointment, and I haven’t revisited birth control since.
turning 22
seven
The ins and outs of home ownership
I think millennials get a pass on this? Tabling for now.
eight
How to have sex without disassociating
I could have probably made this a point without the last two words. Needless to say, I’m a pleasure to have in class.
nine
TikTok
When I wrote about my struggles navigating TikTok’s community guidelines, I had 58 followers. Now, four months later, I have 116. That’s growth, right? Maybe I’m figuring this one out after all. Don’t laugh at my follower count.
turning 23
ten
Change is inevitable
Something about change as a constant doesn’t sit right with me.
eleven
Which toilet paper I should buy
Doesn’t everyone else just scan the aisle for what’s cheapest and call it a day?
twelve
General emergency preparedness
My partner spent the night before we evacuated for Hurricane Ian driving around looking for open gas stations because I consistently let my Prius run on empty.
turning 24
thirteen
What my top 10 favorite Taylor Swift songs are
I’m in constant agony trying to narrow down this impossible list. If you’re a fan, don’t put yourself through the stress of attempting it.
fourteen
How to overcome imposter syndrome
Maybe meditation could also help with the never-ending string of voices that remind me upon waking up in the morning that I’m not good enough.
fifteen
How to stick to a dilator routine
It’s hard.
turning 25
sixteen
How to make my favorite cocktail
It’s an old fashioned, see number four.
seventeen
The nonexistence of perfection
It’s the slight tilt of an Instagram photo I’ve already posted, it’s the two tablespoons of ginger the recipe called for even though I had a feeling it should only be one, it’s packing an overnight bag in preparation for a hurricane the day after a flight home from Vegas. Imperfection is all around me and yet, I cannot accept it.
eighteen
How to overcome my daddy issues
Not much has changed since my Father’s Day post. It’s occurring to me this work could be lifelong.
turning 26
nineteen
A five-year plan
This isn’t to say that I don’t have goals, just that I’m singularly (sometimes frustratingly) focused on one goal at a time. Publish book, sort out rest of life later.
twenty
Air frying
I’m intimidated by it.
twenty-one
How to dance
It’s a lot of elbows, and they’re all working against each other.
turning 27
twenty-two
How to see the world in shades of gray
I’m a classic black-and-white thinker, which can be limiting in my work and personal relationships. A lot of people I love live in the gray area of life. Classifying situations as only right or wrong, perfect or not inhibits compassion and understanding.
twenty-three
How to mix metals without feeling like a poser
My 19-year-old sister does this like a pro. Gen Z fears nothing, except talking on the phone.
twenty-four
Navigation
Without Apple Maps, I’m lost. I stay impressed by people who always know which direction is north.
turning 28
twenty-five
How to obtain a passport
I’m sure this will matter soon. In the meantime, please nobody tell my partner that I don’t have a passport.
twenty-six
How to tie a suit tie
Not the most relevant, but it’s something I’ve always wanted to learn.
twenty-seven
How to save money on my car insurance
I call every six months, I change providers, I beg. Despite my best efforts, number go up.
turning 29
twenty-eight
How not to text and drive
Possibly my worst habit. The good news is that I rarely leave my apartment.
twenty-nine
Why I owed money on my taxes last year
It doesn’t make sense AND there are still potholes on my road!?
turning 30
thirty
How to drive organic traffic to my blog
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